***"Never Free"*** what do you think?

“Never Free”





How to embrace this place of pain


Desiring sun, receiving rain


I feel my knees buckling down


Buckling down to beg the ground





How to consume this bitter pill


Forced on me, against my will


Leaving it’s taste here on my tongue


On my tongue it just gets hung





How to exhale this toxic smoke


It wont escape, unless I choke


Live to warn of poison’s hell


Poison’s hell in which I dwell





How to cleanse you from my skin


Now with regret, I let you in


There you became one with me


One with me we’re never free








@644145

***"Never Free"*** what do you think?
Rhymes well, good meter, conveys a message of abuse and cleansing. Well done, let's see more.





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Reply:Personally, I love it.
Reply:I like the repetition, but not the end rhyme.
Reply:what is it about? i think it's very personal for you, but i don't have the information about your life to figure out what it means. also, watch the number of beats in each line. you can tighten it up a bit and put in some hints for those of us who don't know you.
Reply:its amazing i loved it great beyond great job i am awesruct i dont say that a lot!!! keep it up!!!
Reply:good job
Reply:I love it so much!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:Quite good! I especially like the part about your knees "buckling down to beg the ground"
Reply:Wow, this gave me chills.. you have such a great flow to it. it's beautiful i wouldn't change it.
Reply:very insightful. I feel much empathy with this poem. Great emotion. Thank You for sharing.