“Never Free”
How to embrace this place of pain
Desiring sun, receiving rain
I feel my knees buckling down
Buckling down to beg the ground
How to consume this bitter pill
Forced on me, against my will
Leaving it’s taste here on my tongue
On my tongue it just gets hung
How to exhale this toxic smoke
It wont escape, unless I choke
Live to warn of poison’s hell
Poison’s hell in which I dwell
How to cleanse you from my skin
Now with regret, I let you in
There you became one with me
One with me we’re never free
@644145
***"Never Free"*** what do you think?
Rhymes well, good meter, conveys a message of abuse and cleansing. Well done, let's see more.
dd
Reply:Personally, I love it.
Reply:I like the repetition, but not the end rhyme.
Reply:what is it about? i think it's very personal for you, but i don't have the information about your life to figure out what it means. also, watch the number of beats in each line. you can tighten it up a bit and put in some hints for those of us who don't know you.
Reply:its amazing i loved it great beyond great job i am awesruct i dont say that a lot!!! keep it up!!!
Reply:good job
Reply:I love it so much!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:Quite good! I especially like the part about your knees "buckling down to beg the ground"
Reply:Wow, this gave me chills.. you have such a great flow to it. it's beautiful i wouldn't change it.
Reply:very insightful. I feel much empathy with this poem. Great emotion. Thank You for sharing.
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