How do u like it?

-Prologue-


-Dreams-





“For in dreams we enter a world that’s entirely our own, let them swim in the deepest ocean, or glide over the highest cloud”


-Dumledore-


Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban








What are dreams? Are they a reminisce from a previous life, or simply De ja vu. They can have us enter into the unimaginable and impossible. Yet it all seems so real. We do the most amazing things in dreams, but cannot remember any bit of it when you wake up. That is why the dream world is so amazing; it is where we can achieve our most desired whim. Still, very few dreams come true, yet those spare few are able to paint our lives with the colors of adventure, or tragedy. Dare to step into the Dream World?

















Chapter 1





It was a glorious day like no other, and 14-year-old Caity Craft was enjoying every bit of it.


In a couple of minutes David West, the handsome and charming young man that Caity has had a crush on for years, would be picking her up for their date that afternoon. She had been getting ready for hours, choosing her outfit carefully, taking care not to look too over the top, and yet to make an everlasting impression on him. Just as she finished she heard the doorbell ring, she put one last streak of lip gloss on her already over-shined lips, and went to go answer it. Of course, it was David, he held his arm out, she responded with a smile and grabbed his hand. Together they made their way down the road towards the local coffee shop and settled in a table near a beautiful picture window and ordered their choice of drinks. They sat and chatted politely, and eventually came into a very intensive conversation about nothing in particular, and yet meant everything that mattered in the world. They went for a very long walk, around the town, in the park, everywhere. It became very late though, and their parents would be concerned, so they decided to go their separate ways after agreeing to a second date sometime.


When Caity said goodbye, she looked up, he was looking away, she blushed and looked down again, he lifted her chin and stared at her with the most penetrating stare that she could not pry her eyes away, they both smiled, the space between their faces was shrinking rapidly, she could smell the cologne that lost its original strength long ago, their lips were only centimeters away from each other…





“CAITY, WAKE UP!!!”


“Mom, just five more minutes, please!” why must she awake her at such an invigorating part of her glorious dream?


“But honey you have to wake up or you’ll be late for school, it’s already 7:30!”


“WHAT?!?!?! Make me some breakfast while I get dressed, please and thank you.”


Caity grabbed the first thing she could find, groaning at the big stain on the front of her favorite sweater. She took a look in the mirror, fixed her hair, and ran downstairs, not bothering to try and impress David, for she had given it up and was in a hurry. Gulping down breakfast she ran outside into the car, hoping her mom would write a tardy admit for her.


When Mrs. Craft pulled into the parking lot of the school, Caity asked her to write an admit but she had no time.


“Love you honey!”


“Bye mom” she said hopelessly as she entered school, dreading what Mr. Jerrald, her terribly strict geometry teacher, would say…

















Chapter 2





“DETENTION CRAFT!” Mr. Jerrald hissed,


“This Wednesday after school, be there!” he handed her a detention slip.


“That’s your ninth tardy, one more and there will be suspension! What is it you do instead of being in class?”


Honestly, Caity and her friends had skipped the first half hour of class a couple times. Eight times actually, but Caity never thought she would, God forbid, get suspended! Not really, its just that she never really thought of consequences while having fun, playing hookie at the drugstore or in the school bathrooms.


“Nothing” she said with the most innocent voice she could muster


But she knew now that it was time to pay.


She took her seat in the back of the class with her friends; they gave her grave looks of sympathy and said they would totally serve detention with her, if it weren’t for “soccer practice” or some other lame excuse. When school was finally over, Caity showed her mom the detention slip and said she was going to have to miss her dance lesson that week.





The next morning she ran into David on her way to class, he looked anxious for some reason, and he kept looking over his shoulder.


“Hi Caity, hey, have you seen Mr. Smith anywhere?” he asked


“Um, no I haven’t” she said nervously.


“Ok, but will you tell me if you do? That would be great, see ya”


“Bye”


What was that all about?





“Oh my gosh!” Caity thought as she went down the stairs to her English class


“I can’t believe I actually talked to David West! I hope I didn’t act too excited, or, oh no! Did I sound nervous?!?!?! I HAVE to know!”


But what was also on her mind - why was he in such a hurry and why was he so nervous? Was he in trouble or something? Was David West – THE David West – the boy that shy Caity Crest had a crush on, a criminal?





No, in fact he was not in trouble with the law or anything scandalous, he just needed to tell Mr. Smith something, but is that the message that got him in so much trouble? Who knows, only him.
































Chapter 3





Wednesday’s detention, as Caity had dreaded, had finally come. She made her way down to the detention room, and froze…





Much to her delight, David West was in the detention room, but it also added to the anxiety of it all. What’s even worse is that the teacher leading the detention that day put them in groups of two, and guess who got put together.


Caity just sat there avoiding eye contact, when the awkward silence was too much.


“So, what are you in for?” she asked, trying to smile


“Remember when you saw me yesterday? Well, I had to tell Mr. Smith something and he got all angry about it for some reason, then he gave me a detention, you?” It sounded innocent enough, but still a little fishy, however, Caity decided not to delve deeper in case of offending him.


“That’s weird, yeah, I was tardy… for the ninth time.”


They went on talking, Caity getting more confident with every word, when suddenly, David asked a question that stopped the confidence boost altogether.





“Hey Caity, are you doing anything this Saturday?” he sounded anxious when he said it.


“Uh, let me check my calendar” she looked at the paper they were supposed to be working on.


“No, I’m not doing anything, what did you have in mind?” she laughed nervously


“Well, I was just wondering if—‘’


“NO TALKING!” snapped the teacher, so David wrote it down on a piece of paper—





Caity- since you’re free on Saturday, I was just wondering if you would like to go to a movie with me, I’ll pay for you, and we could go to dinner before it





Sounds great! When can you pick me up? Or can you pick me up? That would be awesome because my mom has somewhere else to go to.





Yeah, I can pick you up around six. We’ll be back around ten, is that ok?





Yeah, see you then.



































Chapter 4





Caity was so excited about her date on Saturday that she couldn’t concentrate on her world history homework.


“David West, a Spanish Conquistador, took over the whole cinema to go on a date with his new girlfriend, Caity Craft. Charming Craft and handsome West together set out to conquer the world, but died from a cruel gunshot from Lisa Smith, West’s former companion, and their world history teacher, Mr. Smith’s daughter…”


Caity couldn’t stand it; she called up David, not knowing how she got his number stuck in the pocket of her jacket, when a thought came to her mind — what did David say to Mr. Smith that made him so angry—


“Hello, this is David speaking”


“Hey David, just wondering, what was it you said to Mr. Smith that made him so angry?


“I just asked him about his daughter, Lisa, because she, uh, left her jacket at my house, she’s my ex.” He said, though not with much confidence.


“Oh. Hmm, I wonder why he got so mad about it.”


“Yeah, he was all red in the face and yelled ‘Detention! And don’t ever speak to me about my daughter ever again!!!’”


“Seems like he overreacted a little… but maybe it was just problems between them.”


“Yeah, I guess. But he sounded really angry, with a crazed look in his eye. Well, I godda go, my mom’s calling me for dinner, see you tomorrow!” He said, sounding troubled


“Bye” She said as she hung up the phone, deciding that she would think about it more tomorrow, besides, she had homework, and tomorrow was Friday.



















































































Chapter 5





By the end of the day, Caity had found out nothing on the subject of, well, all her subjects; and still nothing on the subject of Lisa Smith. Which is what she had been concentrating on instead of her studies.


But she was still very excited for Saturday, when they (David and Caity) could discuss it more. She felt like Nancy Drew, though it was not much of a mystery (so far). When all of a sudden, she heard her name being called.


“Wha— she had been daydreaming.


“I think I asked you a question.” Mrs. Tap said firmly “what is the theory of relativity, very easy, and what does it have to do with how energy is made?


“Oh, yeah. E=mc2, which is pretty much energy equals mass times the speed of light squared. So energy is made from, uh, mass times the speed of light to the second?”


“Correct, but for your homework tonight, everybody must write at least a paragraph about the speed of light, to touch further on the subject. It will be due on Monday.”





Great, Caity might have time to write up a short paragraph on Sunday night, but it will be difficult so she started it that night.


It was a lot harder than she thought, and she was up almost all night working on it. Caity just couldn’t explain it in one paragraph, so at 11:30, she had already had two pages on it. By the time it was 1:00, and she had four pages, Caity figured it was enough (perhaps a bit more than enough), so she finished it up and tried to get some sleep, she knew it would be good, but she was too excited. When she finally did get some shut-eye, it was 4:30, and she would have to sleep in, very late, she set her alarm for 3:00 p.m., hopefully it would wake her up in time to get ready.













































































Chapter 6





Saturday had come at last, and Caity had woken up, refreshed exactly at… what? 5:30?!?!?!? This couldn’t be happening, surely her mom would have woken her up by now.


She went into the bathroom; she couldn’t believe what she saw…





There she was, drenched in blood, Caity couldn’t even scream. Her own mother, but why? From the looks of it, she was tortured to death. The crude details are too sickening explain. Her body was twisted in an unnatural way, with many bruises and burns, Caity didn’t hear the horrific, blood curdling screams, that escaped from her tender motherly lips, that fixed all her “boo-boos” when she was a young child, because she was gagged. What a terrible fate for such a caring person. What callous, sick person would do this? But Caity noticed another thing, a tag, no, a note, written in blood-


Your next, Caity Craft.


























Chapter 7





Suddenly she blacked out, she was so afraid. Wait no, she didn’t black out, something, a pillow, was covering her face, she was getting lightheaded, she couldn’t scream, couldn’t feel sweet air filling her lungs. A bag was put over her head. Caity started to panic, she couldn’t breathe, her mother was dead. How could this all be happening? Who was the person behind this terrible act? She was being kicked, urged to get up and walk, she got up, having no choice. She was getting beaten around like a soccer ball in an intense game. Caity tried to calm down but it was too much. She was thrown into a vehicle and driven somewhere. Unexpectedly she felt icy cold, she was drowning! Unable to untie her hands, she gave up hope, destroyed. Why must it end like this?





When she thought all hope was lost, she gave what would have been her last, shuddering breath, when all of a sudden…











A pair of muscular arms, far from the ones that had damaged her, were holding her around the waist while strong legs pumped underneath them. They were strong yet comforting, then she thought—


“DAVID!” and she fell to sleep, adrenaline rushing away, what kept her alive was leaving her, and a more reliable source was taking over, her true hero.































































































Chapter 8





She woke up but a moment later it seemed. She was in a hospital bed with balloons, flowers and get-well cards all around her. The nurse said she had been out for two days. Caity looked down, there were bruises all down her arms and IV in her wrist. She was more relieved than she had ever been in her life, when panic came over her again. She now had no parents (her father died in a war), not enough money to live, and she almost died for God’s sake. A nurse came up to her to give her some medicine, Caity refused it and started to get nervous and uncomfortable, why was everyone bothering her, she was terrified, nurses were starting to surround her, she started having a nervous breakdown, her breaths became short and quick, they were all trying to stick needles in her, she didn’t want them to do that, they would hurt her, put her in more pain than she already was. She was screaming her head off and nobody was paying her any attention. She wanted her mother, her mom was dead, she started screaming more, crying out for help. Then she saw it, a faint glowing at first, it started to get brighter and everything else was blocked out. Now the only thing that she wanted was to reach that light. She knew that it would end her suffering and pain. She would see her mom and dad again, and be able to be with them forever, she knew it. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her arm and the light disappeared. She was coming back, no, she didn’t want to come back; she didn’t want to live her life in misery. But when she came back, all the nurses had disappeared, she was in a different room, she saw David there, standing, her hero, come back to see how she was. Caity could see that his eyes were bloodshot, he had obviously been crying… for her. He did care about her.






















































































Chapter 9





“How did you find me?” was the first thing that came from her.


“I came to pick you up a little early, and something didn’t feel right. I was going to go check on you, but I saw the door opening, so I hid. I saw a person whose face was masked kicking and hitting you to walk, then the person threw you into the back of the van. I followed it, staying behind so the person wouldn’t suspect anything, but not far enough to lose you. I stopped when it pulled over at the end of a bridge, then it just, well” his voice faltered, tears started streaming down his face.


“I know you probably don’t want to see me like this, I’m sorry, but, well, it, that, thing, threw you into the lake, I knew I had to do something, when it drove away I went and dived in, I just couldn’t let you die. And, well, you know what happened next. I thought you died, I was so scared it’s not even funny. I’m just glad to see your ok now.”


“And I thank you, you are my hero mister David West. I owe you my life.” She said, mesmerized and truthfully.


“I just wonder who did this, kind of scary y’know? Like a demented serial stalker. What do they want from me?”


“Yeah, what do they have against you, and your mom I guess…” he said


She started to cry.


“Oh, I am so sorry, this is probably really hard for you and I just made it worse.”


“No, its ok. I’m probably acting like a baby, crying all the time and having nervous breakdowns”


“I don’t blame you, you almost died, anyone would act like that. I just wonder why she wants to kill you.” He said


“She? How do you know it’s a girl?” She said, sudden accusation in her tone


“What? Did I say she? I mean, it’s just so awkward calling it a, well, “it” I g—”


“Are you not telling me something that could very well save my life some day?”


“No, I’m telling you everything I know” he said defensively.


“Are you sure? Is there anything you’ve been hiding from me for a while?” she gave him a threatening look


“ok FINE! I, might kinda, like know who possibly tried to kill you, I may not be right though. Her name is Lisa Smith, I’m sure I might have mentioned her once. Anyway, she was the one that killed my mom. That’s what I was talking to Mr. Smith about, I told him that his daughter was a murderer, but he didn’t believe me, obviously.”


“Oh really, so she wasn’t your ex. But why did she kill your mom?”


“Yes, actually, she was my ex, and my mom didn’t like her. So she made me break with her. She was using me to get drugs or something, so she got really angry, and killed her.” He said with a sigh.


“That’s so sad, sorry for snapping at you, it must be hard enough, talking freely about your mom’s death.”


“I guess so…” he said uncertainly, there was an awkward silence for a while, broken eagerly by David.


“Hey, we never really did have that date, how about tomorrow night at six?”


“But the nurses probably won’t let me out of the hospital.” Caity said


“Well then I guess we’ll just have to have it in your room, with romantic music, reading the cafeteria menus by candlelight, whaddaya say?”


“Sure” she said laughing.



























































Chapter 10





Caity was recovering quickly, and would be going back to school soon, on crutches because she had broken her leg. She and David had been having “dates” together in her hospital room, now decorated with posters of her favorite bands, and gifts from her visitors. She was still devastated about what happened, but she had company almost all day. David came and visited every day after school. He even missed football practice to just hang out with Caity.


He loved her and she loved him, they hadn’t had anything tragic happen lately. They both went on with their daily lives, hanging out. Caity joined her school track team after she got her crutches off.


All was well till one day when Caity was walking home from school; she was walking alone because David was sick that day. Even though the street around her was empty, Caity was aware of a presence behind her. She turned around and was immediately knocked out of consciousness.








When she awoke, she realized that she was wet with sweat. Caity found she was tied up to a wooden pole, she looked down and saw a fire beneath her, she was being burned alive!





She heard malicious laughing in the distance, and none other than Lisa Smith emerged from the shadows.


“So…” she laughed


“Little Caity is scared without her ‘boyfriend’ to come and save her… like last time.” She finished the sentence quite bitterly.


“But this time he WON’T come, this time I will KILL YOU!” her voice much resembling the burning flames reflected in her crazed eyes.


“It was you.”


“No it wasn’t, it was my dear father.


“And he covered for you, when David talked to him.” Caity said with realization, while attempting to loosen her bindings.


“Yes, and he cut it mighty close if you ask me, had to knock him out, then make him swear not to tell anyone about it, or he would lose his life.”


“But David will come and save me, I know that.”


Lisa laughed again


“Ha! He’s tied up with my father, waiting for my signal.” She held up her walkie-talkie


“Once you are screaming your poor wittle head off when you catch fire…” she said in a mock babying voice.


“I will tell him to blast the little traitor’s head to smithereens. The two of you will die together, how romantic.” She said with a smile.


“You sick person, what did you do to my mother?”


“Oh, I had fun with her. First I gagged her, to keep her unworthy mouth from screeching. Then I thoroughly enjoyed peeling the skin clean off her face, played around with a lighter—


“STOP IT!” Caity screamed, blood and tears streaming down her face.


“STOP! I meant, why did you do it, why you crazed madman, why?” she wailed.


“To get to you.” Lisa said simply.


“You see, with her out of the way, I had a clear shot to you.”


“But what about David?”


“No, he was working for me, but I did get a little worried about him when he fell in love with you and ruined my first plan. But I encouraged him to join me back with a little, shall we say, ‘persuasion’, I took him back to lure you closer.”


“WHAT?!?!?! YOU MEAN HE LIED TO MY FACE?!?!?!? So, all those times he said he would love me forever, were lies?”


“That’s right sweetie, all lies… welcome to the real world, where you can’t just trust everyone. Even people you love, and dream about.”


How she knew about her dream, she didn’t know, all she was thinking about was how David betrayed her, and the growing fire, licking her burnt ankles.


“Then why did you tie him up?” Caity spat, tears still running down her face.


“Because, he’s a traitor, that’s that, and he still loves you.”


Caity thought about what Lisa said for a while, when she finally realized the burning pain, well, all over her. She started screaming out all the air her lungs held; she screamed in agony, the pain was unbelievable.


She started seeing the light again, but she also saw through it, into the real world. Her mother and father were running up to her, going to give her a hug, but she then realized, it was the dream world, then, breaking through the unreal barrier. She saw a Lisa Smith, talking on her walkie-talkie. She had to stop her! Somehow, anyhow. She was helpless, then she thought of something she did with her parents when she was little… she prayed.


“God, please, just help me out of this.”






























































Chapter 11





It all happened so fast, a flash that lighted the night sky, a loud crack, and a chilling scream, not from Caity’s own lips, but from another’s. Then a miracle happened, I started to rain, and rain, and rain. When the last flames of the fire below Caity had vanished in a wisp of smoke, she saw the dead body of Lisa lying in the pouring rain. Then, through the mist, Caity saw something limping her way.


“Oh no” she thought


“It’s Mr. Smith come to see my remains” But she was wrong.








Through the thick black smoke came the voice of a hero, her hero. David West.


“Are you ok Caity?”


Caity felt more relieved then ever in her whole life. But how was David still alive? Hadn’t Mr. Smith finished him off?


“Come on, we have to get you down from there.”


“David, I love you. I love you so much, more than the stars in the sky. You have saved my life twice and I’ve never repaid you”


“Well, I thi—


Then, without warning, Caity kissed him, right in the rain, under the stars. She kissed him, her burned body being soothed by the droplets from heaven.


Chapter 12





The two fell in love, true love. Not just an act he put on to kill her.


“How did you escape?” she whispered in his ear.


“I had untied, and when he turned away I knocked him out. I followed the smoke, and the screaming to you. When I was almost there, it started to rain. I prayed you were still alive, and you were, thank goodness.”


“You betrayed me.” She yelled


“But you betrayed them, for me.” She said in a much more gentle tone.


He started blushing


“Well, you must think I’m just about the most terrible guy in the world, so I would understand if you left me.”


“I wouldn’t leave you for the world.” She said gratefully.








So, as time went on, Caity Craft became Caity West. They had 3 beautiful daughters, and a son on the way, that they loved more than love itself.


But during their time together in that fateful 9th grade year, they found that even through the toughest of times, when you think you are all alone, there is a person that will always love you.





When you feel the most alone, where everyone in your life is gone… you can always go back to the dream world.

How do u like it?
You really need to watch your tenses. You switch back and forth from present to past and back again. You should also avoid superfluous "that"'s and the passive tense "had broken" etc. Both weaken your story and get really annoying to read over and over again. Why say "had broken her leg" when you can say "broke her leg"? JK could have cut 25 or more pages out of that book if she stuck to past tense and left out the "that's". You have occasional syntax errors and awkwardly worded sentences and you use quite a few fragments. Also, if you are writing in the past tense, you are writing a narrative about an event that occurred some time in the past - in this case long before the end of the story when someone sat down and recorded it. We know this because at the end, she is married and has 3 children, so it is some years later. Therefore you cannot use "she would have to think about it tomorrow" because tomorrow is the day after the story is being told to the audience - years after when she was in school. Lastly, the contraction of you are is you're not your. With some editing, it could be OK. Pax - C
Reply:I liked it BUT i disagree that we cannot remember one bit of our dreams, and that few dreams come true, I think that if u focus on your dreams and if u trust in them they can show you more then just Fictional Fantasy.
Reply:nice i like it