Thursday, July 22, 2010

What do you think of this poem that I just wrote?

I got some thick skin, lay it on me! I hope it's not too long, please read the whole thing. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy it.








Seeing You








The rain is drowning,


Work was regrettable,


The car wouldn’t start,


Today is worth frowning.





Now walking home,


Rain dripping down my chin,


There is no one out,


I feel very alone.





Opening the door,


Soaked through and dripping,


Thinking how terrible today was,


Muddy shoes on the floor.





Then you step in,


Cheeks glowing walking to me,


Drying my hair with a towel,


You kiss me still smiling.





Accompanying you to the kitchen,


Rain still splashing outside,


Handing me a cup of hot cocoa,


Then you ask and want to listen.





How was your day?


Looking at you forgetting everything,


Knowing you love me,


I tell you I had a perfect day.

What do you think of this poem that I just wrote?
OMG. I would melt if my man gave me this!


One little editing suggestion: add something like "I tell you what's now the truth: I had a perfect day". Add "what's now the truth" bec u said she was wanting to listen , and then its kind of like u lied, saying it was a perfect day! lol so that clarifies that it BECAME a perfect day, thanks to her! just my opinion.


its awesome, she will love it!!! :)


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