♥♦♥What do you think of my poem♥♦♥?

Please be honest. Person who gives my honest reviews win 10 points!











☼I Am☼








I am an optimistic girl who loves the rain


I wonder if all the water in the world will run out


I hear a waterfall in the meadow


I want to have a positive attitude about everything


I am an optimistic girl who loves the rain


I pretend I’m fine when I’m not


I feel a million raindrops pressing down on my skin


I touch a rainbow after a thunderstorm


I worry about all the unhappiness in the world


I cry when I see someone suffering and can do nothing about it


I am an optimistic girl who loves the rain


I understand things won’t all way be perfect


I say, “If at first you don’t succeed, try again.”


I dream about visiting all 50 states


I try to all look on the bright side


I hope to be the best I can be


I am an optimistic girl who loves the rain

♥♦♥What do you think of my poem♥♦♥?
I think some of your thoughts are scattered from one line to another and you need to bring out more of a cohesive thought pattern with a little more information. I don't understand how you are optimistic but you love the rain, but that is because this is your poem and I don't know you well enough to understand your thought patterns. A little more elaboration can make it clearer what you are trying to say. Some of your lines may need to go or be reworded to make the thought come alive with visual suggestions. I think you could make a very powerful statement with this poem if you look at what you have and try to figure a way to make sure your thought are coming through clearly. I know poetry is subjective but if it is to be appreciated, it needs to have clarity.
Reply:I think (with honesty) it is a very well thought out poem


8/10
Reply:i really do like it i just got confused in some spots while reading it. it was sort of hard to follow.





id give it an 8/10 (10 being WOW!!!!!!!!!)
Reply:Good poem, but in my opinion, way too happy. I like how you repeat "I am an optimistic girl who loves the rain", though.

sorrel