Ok i rote this what do u think?

I wrote this when someone gave me these words to work with [Transcend, flicker, soul, fire, cool, fallen, stray, mark, senses, touch, rain, trace, shelter, abyss, surface, stark, moon, twilight.


and here is the poem....








yummygal


S


Not to good at this but i can try?


The Twinkling Twilight, sparkle of the moon.


All i can think of is you.


I take my hand to the fire,


Nearing it my scence go stray.


My hand burning from the fire,


But i keep going further, looking for a surface


to touch.


The sensation is wild and burning,


althogh all i can think of is you.


Pulling my hand out i see the mark,


the trace all over my arm.


But all it reminds me of is you.


Before soon there is rain,


I see a flicker of fire before it goes out.


Sitting there all i can think of is you.


I search for a shelter,


The cool rain drops splatering against my skin


the touch of them gives me the fallen feeling


from deep of the abyss.


the end.


I know its not good but im trying to get better

Ok i rote this what do u think?
thats not to bad


i mean i cant write that well.


i really suck.
Reply:for your age and how long you've been writing, its not bad at all. keep it up
Reply:Thats good, deep and u only 12???Dang if u keep writin I wouldnt b surprised if sumthin big came of u and ur writing!!!Keep at it--♥
Reply:It is practice. It's not bad. You use the English language well.l there is a flow of words.


Keep working at more poems.
Reply:I don't believe you that you wrote it, because in a former post you wrote a horrible little kid-sounding poem and all of a sudden you can write like a grown adult. but sure, you can pretend like you're a poet for now.