What do you think of the first page of a novel I'm writing? I'm only 16, but feel free to critique.?

Rage.


It consumed him.


It coursed through his veins like a drug, forcing him onwards.


A force intangible yet unrelenting.


Through the trees and bushes he ran, thorns and briars ripping at his skin.


The cool night air whipped through him, but couldn’t cool the burning pain.


This was not the pain of the flesh wounds, they were insignificant, this was immense; the fire inside him, driving him insane, keeping him in a state of perpetual agony. To him this torture would never end, but would have to be released somehow.


At this point only he mattered. There was only him and the pain. Any soul in his way would face naught but paroxysms of rage.


He clumsily sprinted on, not yet knowing where each foot should land, or when.


A hunger was growing inside him which couldn’t be ignored.


It started to rain but he kept running, the droplets steaming off his burning back, he didn’t know where or why, but he kept running.

What do you think of the first page of a novel I'm writing? I'm only 16, but feel free to critique.?
Nice :)
Reply:Very good....I would read more.
Reply:its REALLLY good!!!:)
Reply:There are some grammatical corrections needed, but your imagery is great. So what if you're 'only' sixteen? Write anyway. The more you write the better you get at it, and in my opinion, there is a lot of potential there.
Reply:Very well written and interesting! You have a way with words. I am an avid reader and I love a book that holds my interest. Good luck and I hope I will be reading a novel by you one day!!
Reply:Interesting...what's it called?
Reply:It's very much cliche teenage writing. It reads like it was written at the high school level, which it was, so I suppose that's good. When I read it, I can tell you're trying to be a good writer, but what makes a good writer good, in my opinion, is that they don't try to be a good writer. They write more directly from their own thoughts -- freely without regard to how "good" it is. Be yourself in your writing.


It might also help to study a dictionary and a thesaurus. Dissect the English language; turn it inside out and upside down. Find out more about the words you use and why you use them. You'll find it much easier to convey a story that way.





Also, the term "flesh wounds" is a little grandiloquent, and Monty Python-esque. You might want to use a Thesaurus on that one.





Since you said 'feel free to critique,' that's what I've done. I apologize if you take umbrage to what I've said, but I know if I put my writing out there to be judged, I'd rather have people tear it to shreds than coddle me or praise my writing. The good thing about writing is that you can always become better at it. Keep going with it, and good luck.
Reply:man that good i'd give you a 10+,keep up and tell when you intend to release it%26lt;%26gt;IS%26lt;%26gt;
Reply:He may have just just realized that burger king has locked up for the night. Seriously though, that page is a very good piece of work. send us pg 2
Reply:that's really good.
Reply:HORRIBLE!!... just kidding haha..it's nice..keep doing what you're doing =)