Something depressing to cheer you up! Your thoughts please.?

Sanguinary Rhapsody





Wishing...


the life is a lie,


the last breath a sigh,


failing to try,


waiting to die.





Breathing...


watching the rain,


living in pain,


there's nothing to gain


the difference, the same.





Knowing...


that life is a waste,


i can't break this caste,


bad news, make all haste


with bittersweet taste.





Praying...


to a god that's not real


i can't help but feel


yet the world turns surreal


i don't think i can deal.





Cutting...


the too tender skin,


releasing within


the measure of sin,


the pleasure that's in...





Dying...


the life is a lie,


the last breath a sigh,


and do you ask why?


CAUSE WE ALL LIVE TO DIE!!!

Something depressing to cheer you up! Your thoughts please.?
For fook sake you guys it was supposed to be funny..I mean come on rhyming every line like that makes it hilarious..but then again its normal for people to assume that a poem is about the author...





Well my smexy basket case... I love you! Goodnight


Rock on and all that jazz
Reply:have your thought about some kind of counseling???? you need it
Reply:Dude! Awesome! This poem says exactly what i think of life when I was going through depression. It was nasty stuff. It lasted two years and I did nothing about it. It could have prevented me from cutting. Needless to say depression... a fancy word to say that you're dying inside. I still feel that way sometimes.
Reply:wow...that really gets the image across, in so few words as well. it's great; i'm not keen on poems that waffle. the last line is good, and true as well!


just one note: i think 'caste' is pronounced the same as 'cast', so it doesn't really fit the rhyme.


once again, the last stanza is my favourite. well done and keep writing!


=]
Reply:I have an appreciation for "dark" poems. Well done





Write on!!





Earth
Reply:It conveys your depressed mood, and writing poetry is good therapy, but as a poem it needs a lot of work. Simply rhyming all the lines is not enough(and caste doesn't


rhyme with waste). Try writing the same thinq without rhymes, and vary the length of your lines(free verse). Something like:





Why do I have this feeling, that


Life is a lie,


A waste?


Where is the God I pray to,


Without


Response?


It seems that I am only


Waiting


To


Die.


The rain


Cannot soothe my pain,


I despair...how can I deal with


An empty life?


Is death a release, an end to my pain?


Will


My


Last breath


Be


The end, or a beginning?


We all live to die!
Reply:Yay this IS cheerful!!!














(cheerful to emos..... sorry but I think that's the truth =/ )